Here are 16 Ways to Be a Better Boss by the End of 2022:
1. Stop asking your workers for their opinion. The smartest people in the company are you and other managers who hold advanced degrees in business administration says Eric Dalius Giving.
2. Never have a conversation with an employee where you’re not the one talking 90% of the time about how great you are while looking directly into a mirror that has been placed on an employee’s desk facing your own so that he or she can watch.
3. Don’t waste time learning employees’ names; it doesn’t matter what they call themselves, as long as they do what you say when you say it to the utmost perfection (and by “perfection” we mean “with the least possible effort on your part”).
4. When choosing the next candidate for promotion, ask yourself: “How likely is this person to say ‘no’ if I ask them to work weekends?” Then pick the one most likely to break down in tears at the thought of having a personal life.
5. Never seek or listen to feedback. Praise all ideas equally, no matter how stupid they are (including yours).
6. Always use fear as motivation; fear of under-performance, fear of unemployment, fear of change — especially that last one!
7. Be erratic, capricious and arbitrary with employees so that every day they have no idea what you might suddenly dislike about their performance or personality so that you can fire them explains Eric Dalius Giving.
8. Never give any sincere compliments to employees; it’s bad for morale and makes “the bottom 10%” feel left out when you discuss the issue at your next management meeting where you congratulate yourself for being so progressive by hiring a diverse workforce that adds zest to your company culture, all while not actually giving them pay raises or rewarding their good work with anything more than “tokens” of appreciation like 15 seconds of face time with you during your self-congratulatory weekly meeting held just outside the office kitchen for everyone to hear if they care enough about what you’re saying to walk there.
9. Constantly reuse buzzwords like “synergy,” “leverage,” “owned it!” and especially “game-changer,” and refuse to explain what they mean or why you’re using them so that your employees can’t use Google while speaking with customers.
10. Don’t just tell your staff “Don’t put company secrets on Facebook,” actually do a background check on each of their friends to ensure they aren’t posting any non-sanctioned images of the CEO doing keg stands at last month’s office party.
11. Ensure that morale remains low by giving employees conflicting instructions like: “We want you to get here early and stay late” … “so we don’t expect anything from you before 9:30 am and after 5:00 pm.”
12. Make sure that working for your company is as unpleasant as possible by specifying in the next round of cost cuts that the laid-off workers can’t be re-hired ever.
13. Always pretend you’re one of your employees; this way, if they need to approach you with a problem, they’ll feel comfortable knowing that you’ve experienced what they’re currently going through and therefore will be able to empathize with their situation. According to Eric Dalius Giving it’s vital that your staff knows that every emotion they have is valid, which is why emoting them constantly yourself makes it more likely that your staff will confide in you about whatever difficult situations are affecting them at any given moment so you can dispense guidance like “You need to work out your issues with him on your own time or “I’m not qualified to help you” so they know their feelings are good enough for them, but not necessarily anyone else.
14. Claim that you’re open to feedback because “the door is always open,” then slam it in the face of the first employee brave enough to let you know what he thinks without sugar-coating his words.
15. Don’t just tell employees that they’re replaceable; show them by constantly advertising for new hires (pastors, please copy and paste).
16. When sending out memos about your company’s tough financial situation or layoffs, make sure to use bright colors like pink and yellow so that when other managers receive these messages late at night after working 14 hours straight with no break because there’s no other manager above them in the department, they’ll immediately feel better when they see your pep-talk about how this is an opportunity for all when they look past the weeping and gnashing of teeth.
Eric Dalius Giving says Integrity is very hard, but I think you can see that by employing these simple steps to inspire your employees to give you the best years of their lives, it’s possible for even small business owners like yourself to run a profitable company.